GUILTY AS CHARGED

My thoughts exactly……it is not really the number of years it takes to know someone that truly matters but the value on which the friendship is founded. Ours took just eleven days precisely to start and probably had ended because it lacks definition of purpose.

It all started like a joke and within hours of communication it seems like a friendship that has always been in existence, we bonded easily and were eager to add face to what had already been established. There was no time to pause and think if it was right or wrong at that time so we equally faced our fears and got started.

My restrictive power failed me when we finally met and I fell in love with the personality placed before me, I got carried away immediately not minding if this is ordained by God or not or suffer another heartbreak sojourn, I just felt this personality is too precious to be toiled or taken for granted.  Instead of seeing a stranger, I saw a friend, confidant and possibly as partners either in love or crime…lol.

You awed me with the maturity you displayed with every matter placed before you, you drive home your points with subtleness that your listeners just have to agree with you even if you were wrong. You act like a god and so soft in your dealings. All these qualities are just too much to let go of, it was very hard not to fall in love with you.

Nonetheless I asked myself, is this worth having? Isn’t eleven days too short to discern the true intent of a man towards a lady and yet I am being swept away under the guise of passion. Trust they say takes time to build but in his case I ignored the principles of slow and steady wins the race.

 I trusted him so easily and gave in sheepishly surrendering my body and soul to him. Although my spirit kept on nudging me to stop right there but I remember my pastor once saying at that moment when you are going against God’s spirit, even if a message of sin is being played near you; your mind interprets it into Celion Dion “THE POWER OF LOVE”.

However, considering my history with guys I thought I had learnt one or two things why it never worked and why men are so not trustworthy even when they speak language of the heavenlies but in his case when he extended his arms of love; I reciprocated without a second thought. Now here is the deal; I had knowledge of the woman in his life but you know now this flesh can really like pleasures.

Promiscuity ain’t in my blood but I agreed I towed the path here a little, I just can’t explain why I lost my head in this parade of lust, the fire of the intimacy was too intense to quench but I was badly burnt and regret still why I couldn’t hold back little of my pride. It felt like the oceans wave carrying buoyant airmass and gushing through my feet, my soul is tortured with the sensual moans that filled up the whole atmosphere. It was a mixture of pain and pleasure yet erotically and spiritually vandalising moments.

My spirit was in a fierce warfare with my soul and body but I was partial to allow the spirit to be suppressed.  I was transfigured to an abode of the celestial and never wanted to return, every ounce of energy in me was drained, and he was unstoppable, tireless and his energy could be likened to that of a charging bull. Ecstasy at its peak I’d say, though short lived and ended with a puzzle am yet to find clue to solving.

The next word I heard awoken me sharply from my lustful slumber “ you are so sweet but I hope you know I have a fiancée I love so much and would want to marry” . Under my breath I muttered “just kill me”. Still in my dazzling stare I realised I allowed myself be used and I heard from a saying that you don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings.

I made utter mess of myself but wait! Throw a stone at me if at least once in your lifetime you have never done something utterly stupid that you are not proud to share the story. Now I believe you all have ….chuckles.

I accept.

I AM GUILTY AS CHARGED!

Anu Eyebloggz Solanke.